Ok, not one million luckily, or I would resort to self-harm.
This is just a collection of dialogues which are occasionally funny or original but get old rather quickly. There is a lot of playing on stereotypes and people not meaning what they say and not saying what they mean. There are sprouts of racism, homophobia and just plain ol' nastiness.
There is a man talking on the phone in a supermarket explaining to someone he is just waiting for his suitcase at the airport. There is a woman who refuses to accept her son's homosexuality. There, of course, is a Polish hairdresser who doesn't know what she is doing.
This started as a column in Guardian and you know what? Some things are just not meant to be books. It would've been fine as a column. In a book format it can only be a toilet book. I don't mean it in a bad way. I am not saying you should be using it as a toilet paper in a time of need. We have complete works of Paulo Coelho for that.