Various - Four Letter Word: Invented Correspondence from the Edge of Modern Romance (edited by Rosalind Porter and Joshua Knelman)

Four Letter Word: Invented Correspondence from the Edge of Modern Romance -

When I saw the list of authors I thought: Surely, I will love this book. Then I read the reviews and remembered I don't particularly like short stories (and imaginary love letters can be treated as such) so I thought the book would leave me indifferent. To my surprise I really enjoyed it and it would get five stars if it wasn't for a few party poopers. Now I am going to do something I never do. I am going to review every single letter in this collection with only one sentence. 
Excited? 
Yeah, me too. 
Jonathan Lethem - A letter from Mars to Earth, I don't know what the hell that was about, I don't think I am sophisticated enough to get this weird complex metaphor. 
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie - It had everything I love about Adichie's style: it was simple without being cliche, and sweet but not cheesy. 
Adam Thorpe - This was pretty good as well, by that time I had high hope for this book 
Lionel Shriver - Probably my favourite one in the collection, gotta love psychotic women, it would be funnier if it wasn't so true. 
Dacid Bezmozgis - Meh, felt like something taken out of a novel and couldn't stand on its own without the context. 
Chris Bachelder - This was extremely cheesy and trying to be original and ending up being quite the opposite, women writers couldn't get away with stuff like that but it is ok for men apparently 
A.L. Kennedy - Don't remember, don't care 
Jeff Parker - Really funny and original, I need to check him out, who the hell is this guy? 
Francine Prose - Rah, rah, rah, this is what happens when you date an 'artist', the heroine should know that - artists are dicks! 
Graham Roumieu - Bigfoot writing a love letter to Santa, WTF in a good way 
Gautam Malkani - Amateurish and either I am not very smart or it didn't even make sense. 
Miriam Toews - This would have been better if it was a full lenght novel. 
James Robertson - OH my god, a love letter to Scottish mountains, what a load of boring, pretentious crap, definitely a partypooper 
Etgar Keret - Seems like an exercise in writing, good writing though so gets a pass 
Mandy Sayer - Bookclub favourite - you know the type? 
Jeanette Winterson - This is exactly what I expected from Winterson, even though I have never actually read anything by her. 
Michel Faber - You know when middle aged men write about from a young woman POV (especially young woman from some far away place like Ukraine or Thailand) and you enjoy it a little but the feminist in you wants to slap the author? 
Hisham Matar - Nice, however I don't have much to say about it. 
Geoff Dyer - An asshole's attempt at a love letter - brilliant. 
Matthew Zapruder - What? 
Carl-Johan Vallgren - I am gathering this one was actually real, so I can't really judge it. 
Joseph Boyden - I was reading this one on the tube on a Saturday night and started fucking crying! Me ! Crying!! Unbelievable 
Neil Gaiman - A love letter from a stalking staute, only Gaiman could pull that off 
Valerie Martin - Quite enjoyable but unmmemorable 
Peter Behres - Unimpressed; I really cannot read about war anymore. 
Ursula K. Le Guin - Hey, I didn't know she was so funny, maybe I should read something by her. 
Nick Laird - Unlove letter to the father, I think I should write a similar one. 
Sam Lipsyte - Letters to a woman primatologist from not one but TWO chimpanzees, it turns out that apes are JUST like men in the end. 
Panos Karnezis - Interesting in, dare I say, Jonathan Carroll's kind of way. 
Jan Morris - A love letter to a house, a lot better than the love letter to the bloody Scottish mountains
Hari Kunzru - Most believable and complex characterization in the whole collection, who is this guy, where can I get more of him? 
Anonymous - Wow, I have feeling this one was 100% real and a message to someone! 
Margaret Atwood - Not too bad but I expected more from Atwood (Oh, I hated when teachers used to do that to me at school - this is not bad, Kinga, but we really expect more from you). 
Damon Galgut - Pretty intense 
Audrey Niffenegger - Meh. 
Juli Zeh - What if , what if 
Leonard Cohen - Seriously, why do people like this dude, this was SO predictable and cliche ridden. 
Phil LaMarche - A winner - abusive love at its best. 
M.G. Vassnji - Pleasant 
Tessa Brown - Hilarious and scary at the same time, who is this woman? (On goodreads she is only listed as an author of Stitch & Stencil Flowers & Fruit and I just don't think that's the one) 
Douglas Coupland - Love... well, Coupland is definitely in love with his own writing.