Nora Roberts - Carolina Moon

Carolina Moon - Nora Roberts

This book was so bad and made me so angry that I wasn't going to write a review but my OCD is stronger than me, also, I need to vent somewhere.

First, let's make one thing clear. I don't hate cheesy popular literature. Oh no, no. I embrace trash. I suspend my disbelief when needed, I swallow cliches like they were milk and honey, I even put up with bad writing. All that, so I can be entertained.

When I have gone so far in sacrificing my literary sensitivity and you, in turn, have failed to entertain me, then we have fury like there has never been fury before. 

In the beginning of 2011 I had this brilliant idea that I would download an easy, exciting audiobook and listen to that while I sweat on the treadmill. This idea, while great in theory, didn't quite worked, because the book I chose for my experiment was this wretched pile of muck.

Well, it has mystery, murder, rape, romance, character with paranormal 
abilities... Surely, if anything, it'll be entertaining...

Let me put this way: 'The bits about organic farming were the most exciting out of the whole book'. 

Roberts' attempt at a crime/mystery story was just laughable. I mean, NOTHING happened. There were no clues here and there, no trying to solve the mystery, no progress. Basically, they didn't know who did it for the whole book. And then on the last 5 pages they found out who did it.

So you would think, ok, the focus is on the romance.

Sadly, the hero was an idiot who decided to win the heroine by showing up at her house and moan relentlessly until she said yes. And of course she did say yes, as she was an idiot herself.

There was no conflict, no build up, no tension, no release. It went pretty much like this:

He: Be with me
She: No
He: Why not?
She: Uh, I don't know
He: So be with me
She: Ok
He: I love you
She: I love you too, let's get married
He: Cool.

There was as much chemistry between them as there is between pieces of furniture. 

On top of that, the book was just one big cliche. Everything was cliche, every character (including all the bland secondary characters), every scene, every description, every 'plot twist' (the expression 'plot twist' is a bit of an overstatement when it comes to this book). And I know I said I don't mind cliches and that they are like milk and honey. But come on! That was as if someone asked me to eat a barrel of honey straight from the hive. 

It probably didn't help that I had all those cliches spoken softly in a monotonous voice straight into my ear. 

I cared so little for anyone or anything this book that if the insane murderer that they were looking for, had killed just about everyone, it would've been alright with me.

And I had to suffer through it each time I went to the gym. Because I am simply crazy and I can't not finish a book. 

This review is a total mess. I am sorry. I am so very angry. I want this book to die.