Angela Ardis - Inside A Thug's Heart

Inside A Thug's Heart - Angela Ardis

This book is pretty much every teenage girl's fantasy come true. Angela Ardis was an ordinary woman who decided to write a letter to 2Pac, when he was in prison. The whole thing was a result of a bet Ardis had with her co-workers. She was prepared to lose it but then, shockingly, 2Pac called her back. 

And this is how 2Pac and Ardis became pen-pals. 2Pac had quite some time on his hands, so he could write her letters and poems to entertain himself, and Ardis was having an epistolary affair with the world number 1 bad boy. They were both winning. 

Women love celebrities and they love men in prison. A celebrity in prison? It hardly gets better than this. The reason women love men in prison is because men in prison are what women want men to be. They won’t try to have sex with you for the simple reason that they can’t, they are behind bars. Men in prison can only talk and listen, words is all that they have. So all their concentration goes into talking and listening. They will write you letters! What other man will write you letters these days? Only a man in prison! 

Taking all that into consideration, you will be hardly surprised to learn that Ardis ditched the perfectly sweet guy she was dating and got carried away. 

It reminded me of my private obsession with 2Pac. When I was about 13 I was quite positive we would get married one day. If you think it a bit weird that a little white girl in post-communist Poland was in love with 2Pac, let me just tell you that the only language this little book has been translated to was Polish. There was quite of a cult following of 2Pac in Poland back in the day. 

What’s interesting about 2pac’s and Ardis’ correspondence is that after the first letter Ardis sent him, which consisted of a few rather uninspired lines, 2Pac was relocated a few times and Ardis’ letters weren’t reaching him. This, however, didn’t stop him from writing to her. 2Pac was going deeper and deeper into the whole thing without any activity on her part. This leads me to conclusion that Ardis could be anyone. 2Pac was just lonely and sad, and probably quite bored. This provided entertainment and opportunity to create an ideal partner who he could write to. 

I mean, their whole correspondence is soft porn intercepted with assurances about how ‘real’ their thing is. There is no real substance to it, no firm base to build any meaningful relationship. It was just like an endless r’n’b song where they constantly repeated how much they were feeling each other. It seemed to me it just provided 2Pac with an outlet for his creativity. He was an artist and on that occasion he decided to play a game of seduction. 

At some point, 2Pac admits to Ardis that there is another woman in his life, whom he calls Queen. He then goes into some very illogical, juvenile explanations of how all three of them could live happily ever after. Ardis, despite her slight infatuation and 2Pac’s celebrity status, calls bullshit. Then 2Pac complains that women always say they want honesty but when they get it, they can’t handle it. Of all the stupid lines, this one must be my favourite. Women want honesty, but not just in words, in actions too. If you are a dick but you are being honest about it, it doesn’t make it better. It doesn’t make you an honest man, you’re actually still a dick. 

Anyway, beware of men who call you Queen. That’s usually a sign of something fishy going on. I was dating this guy once who was calling me a princess and telling me I was his only Princess. And guess what, I WAS his only Princess. Because the other two were called, respectively, Queen and Wifey. 

‘Inside a Thug’s Heart’ was quite a short book. If I don’t stop writing this review soon, it will probably be just as long as the book. Ardis tried to stretch it out by including her reveries that featured 2pac and their imaginary conversations and loves scenes. Ah, I remember... I used to have loads of those with Ginuwine when I was 16. 

And you know how the whole thing ended? She went to visit him in prison, they kissed, and then he never called her or written her again. Men, eh? 
Sometime later he got shot, so girlfriend could at least cash in on the whole thing. 

As a matter of fact, this gives me an idea… Do you know of any celebrities that are currently in prison? Didn’t Wesley Snipes get busted for tax evasion or something?